I had an abortion when I was 19. It was a very sad process because I went through it entirely alone. I come from a village where even thinking about ending a pregnancy is considered the worst thing imaginable.
However, I was sure that I didn’t want to be a mother, and the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy were not ideal either. So, I decided to look for information, but it was very difficult because I had to do it completely alone.
On top of that, I had to confront the very stigmas I had internalised. At the time, I was sure of my decision, but afterwards I was overwhelmed by guilt. Not because I believed that what I had done was wrong, but because of the weight of my religious upbringing. Coming from a Catholic family, abortion was considered a grave sin.
As time went on I became a feminist and started to question things and realised that the guilt I had carried didn’t actually come from me, but from what I had been taught. It was at that point that I came across Di Ramona. By then, my perspective on abortion had changed.
Earlier this year, I became pregnant again.
Again, I questioned whether or not I wanted to be a mother, and the answer was no – for the moment at least, I don’t want to be a mother.
So, I decided to seek support, and it was a complete contrast to what I had experienced the first time, which was devastating and something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
I came to Di Ramona and they supported me in a very humane and loving way. I felt absolute trust, and there was never a moment when I felt judged. After the abortion, I felt at peace. It was, in some ways, even a beautiful experience, because I was surrounded by women, with no prejudice hanging over me. I continue to believe it was the best decision I could have made. I am very grateful.
These are our bodies, our decisions.
We are the ones who go through these processes, and we have every right to make our own decisions about pregnancy.
I would really like this issue not to be so singled out, so stigmatised, and for people to understand that many of these prejudices just stem from misogyny towards women.
I feel good about my decision to have an abortion. I decided that I didn’t want to be a mother this time around precisely because, given my current circumstances, I don’t feel ready to change my life in that way, and that’s completely valid, isn’t it?
I think people often think we need to have ‘big’ reasons for not doing something, but that’s not the case. Right now, I don’t want to be a mother, and that’s just how it is.
Interview with someone who received abortion support from Di Ramona, a SAAF grantee partner in Mexico.